He's Just Not That Into You...

2/27/2010

5 Comments

 
So many points to cover...Should I cover them all??

Oh what the hell--Lets do it!

So they practically depicted an image that it’s better to not be married than to be married. WTH! That's what’s wrong with relationships today. No one values marriage so no one cares to grow towards it. We do everything and I mean everything that looks like a marriage but we don't go through with the ceremony to make it official. In the movie there were two couples that stood out: One that was married and the man ended up cheating on his wife with a woman that he found irresistible on all levels. The other couple was dating for seven years but broke up because the man didn't want to get married. When the woman finally stood her ground and said I'm leaving you because you don't want to marry me, he didn't stop her. Thank goodness for the happy ending where he redeemed himself and asked her to marry him. My point is, they painted a picture that the woman who shacked up with a man for SEVEN yearsended up having the happy ending versus the woman who got married. I'm sure some women are now saying if I just be patient then it can happen. Well yes patience is a very good attribute to have but that doesn't make doing everything that a marriage entails before the actual ceremony a good thing. Hell why should he marry you? The way a man thinks (LOL) is if you're giving me all these things now than does a little piece of paper matter. Well it’s beyond a piece of paper its confirmation. It’s a commitment. You act differently when there is a commitment involved; you invest more; you care more: you pamper it a little more and etc.

Next Point...

Women being so damn Open--Available--Easy!

Call me old school but damn let him chase you an itsy-bit.
(I say an itsy-bit but according to my poll, the men said they like an easy catch so I suggest you find a middle ground)

As a matter of fact I think it’s safe to say just do you. Chill out and let nature take its course. Make yourself available but don't be all desperate. These men claim they like it easy but I think some of them might have the getting to know you stage confused with the sexing you stage; so I'm going to be the voice for the men. In watching my male friends and even with my own experiences I've found that men like it when they actually take the time to get to know you. They tend to let the woman who they got to know very quickly, go very quickly. I think because it appears that the woman is moving too fast.

Now to my last point which are from the words of one of the characters.

"We're so focused on our happy endings that we can't tell the signs
that are in front of our faces"

No need for me to comment on that. It speaks for itself. Every man is not your damn husband as soon as you meet him...Geez! lol

Oh sorry. One last comment. Its a BIG one too... I'm going to write it in red so you don't miss it.


Stop Taking Advice From All Your Girlfriends When They Are Hopelessly Single Too!!!

Love, Writing and Besos!

Your Favorite Author,

Demetrius Dudley 

 
5 Comments

It's about to be a...Girl Fight!

2/18/2010

8 Comments

 
The word ridiculous could appropriately describe some of the relationships/vibes women have with each other today. While of course this is not the case with all women, it is a common and noticeable factor that is present whether acknowledged or not. As a matter of fact, this “catyness” can typically go unnoticed. A sweet and pleasant woman could indeed have “caty” characteristics.

You and your friends are sitting at a lounge having a good time. In walks a beautiful woman, well dressed and exuberates a great deal of self confidence. Your comment might be, “she thinks she’s all that.” The million dollar question here is: Why can’t she think she’s all that? Is she hurting you? Did she deliberately say I’m the greatest and I’m better than you—absolutely not! She didn’t say a thing but you were thinking those thoughts in your head. What do you expect to come from such negative thoughts? You’re going to treat her like she actually made those comments which in return would cause her to not be so receptive to you. The fact that she might think she’s all that is not always a bad thing. That doesn’t make her the enemy. If we could somehow make our way into an environment where “we” women can ALL think we’re “all that” and give the woman you encounter her props for thinking the same thing then we just might get further in life. The fact of the matter for this case would be: do not let another woman with a positive humble attitude or a cocky rude attitude dictate a negative response from you.

Now on another note, the woman who walks in the room deserves some advice as well. Are you walking in the room with a self confident yet humble spirit and are being misunderstood or are you walking in the room like, “bitches look at me!”

"I walked in the room, head held high. I knew she was my competition and I was determined to change her status to the level of an underdog"

"I know why she's staring... My measurements paired with my skin complexion equals perfection. If she were a skunk her scent would be envy"

Be honest with yourself. Is this you? Are you thinking these thoughts in your head? If so, get real; get a life or get a hobby. The attitude is so unnecessary. It would appear that you were creating thoughts in your head very much similar to the group of women that were previously mentioned. You’ve painted a picture of what you think they’re saying and thinking. It’s okay, actually it’s recommended to have a great deal of confidence. But be mindful not to confuse confidence with cockiness.

Women today are fighting too many battles. We have other things to fight and should be fighting for those causes together. Such things as, making men step up to their God given plate and be men; not being discriminated against at work by way of salary and position. How can we collectively fight these battles when we’re too busy fighting our selves. Wouldn’t it be strange to see two armies on their way to the battle field yet one side is duking it out amongst each other before the battle can even begin?

A lifelong mindset might take some time to change but the first step is always remembered upon entering into success. Next time you’re on either side, the woman walking in the room or the group of women in a room, smile at each other and find one thing positive to say.

Love, Writing and Besos!

Your Favorite Author,

Demetrius Dudley 

 
8 Comments

He left you for "You"

2/10/2010

0 Comments

 
Let me get this right...(In the voice of Ne-yo)

You've changed your hair, your style, the way you think, even the way you talk and now you find out he's cheating on you or he confesses to you that he doesn't love you anymore.

I like to write about the most common things that go un-discussed. This situation is one that is done both intentional and unconsciously. You either know off bat that you're going to become the woman he desires or you slowly but surely desire to please him so unbeknownst to you, you become all of what he wants. Either way you start seeing less of you and all of him. You may feel like you're simply catering to your man or pleasing your man. Yeah it really does feel that way but how do you feel about the changes you are making? Because if you're hating the changes now and know you would be pissed off about the changes if he left you then really the changes are in vain. You have to know how to stay true to yourself; true to the woman he claimed he fell in love with.

Lets go deeper............

All the celebs that he's attracted to have short hair so you cut your hair short. You know he might want to move to another state soon so you hold off on going back to school until you figure out what he’s going to do. You allow him to pick out all of your clothes even though you don't like the things he picks. You stop hanging out with your friends and you stop doing all the things you love to do and you focus on his favorite things. So basically you went from a long haired college student who dresses kinda funky and likes to go skating to a short haired college dropout who shops at the Gap who retired her skates and bugs her boyfriend because she has no life of her own anymore.

And now.....

He comes to you and says, "It’s not you it’s me." And you see him with another chic who looks like you use to look. So you ask him what the hell is this all about? And he tells you, "I like a woman who enjoys being herself. One who wants to please me but not at all cost. It's okay to tell me you don't like something or you want to be alone for the evening. He tells you, you became less of a challenge and more of a leech."

It hurts hughh???

So what’s up with us being willing to lose our identity to be with someone? How about you keep your identity and fall in love with the person who loves you for you.

The reality of seeing him with someone else might be just what you need. Cause if you don't learn your lesson on this one it just might go too far on the next one. At least in my example it was easy to bounce back: buy a wig, take your skates out of the closet, register for classes since you only missed one semester and go shopping to heal from the heart break and to get your wardrobe back.

But unfortunately it sometimes goes too far. You've been his wife for ten years and he up and leaves you for the woman you use to be. Well you have no clue where your skates are or even how to skate, you don't remember half of the stuff you learned from school to continue on without a hell of a refresh course. You haven't shopped for your style in so long that you're actually trained to know what he likes so you automatically buy those things and you've gotten so use to the short hair that you actually like it.

This woman in the last example is the majority. Don't get me wrong she has, can and will bounce back, it just hurts like hell when you think of those ten long years you spent being someone else and he has the audacity to leave you for "You."

My thing is ladies, just be yourself. If he likes you he likes you if he doesn't he doesn't, oh the hell well...NEXT!!!!

Love, Writing, and Besos!

Your Favorite Author,

Demetrius Dudley
0 Comments